


Ey Up

by Ena2705



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe, Episode Related, Episode: s01e01 Pilot, Funny, Humor, Supernatural - Freeform, episode rewrite, ghost - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-11
Updated: 2018-12-11
Packaged: 2019-09-16 14:11:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16955568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ena2705/pseuds/Ena2705
Summary: Basically exactly the same but they're from, Yorkshire, England.For example, "hey, how are you?" would be "alreit?"please read this and feel sorry for me because I'm procrastinating an assignment due tomorrow





	Ey Up

Sheffield, Yorkshire  
22 years ago  
INT. NURSERY – NIGHT  
MARY  
Come on lad, let's say night to yer bruter.  
DEAN  
G'Night, Sam.  
MARY  
Good night, duck.  
John  
Alreit, Dean.  
DEAN  
Dad!  
JOHN  
‘ey, pey.  
JOHN  
So what d’y think? Ye think Samme's ready t’ toss around a footy yet?  
DEAN  
Nu, Dadde.  
JOHN  
Nu.  
MARY  
Ye got ‘im?  
JOHN  
I got ‘im.  
JOHN  
Na-night, Sam.  
INT. MASTER BEDROOM – NIGHT  
Lights flicker on a baby monitor sitting on a nightstand next to a photo of MARY and JOHN. Strange nuises come through the monitor. MARY, asleep in bed, stirs. She turns on the light on the nightstand.  
MARY  
John?  
INT. HALLWAY – NIGHT  
MARY walks down the hall to SAM's nursery. JOHN, seen only in silhouette, stands over SAM's crib.  
MARY  
John? Is ‘e ‘ungry?  
MAN  
Shhh.  
MARY  
Ey up.  
MARY heads back down the hallway. The light by the stairs is flickering. MARY frowns and goes to tap at it till the light steadies.  
MARY  
Hm.  
More flickering light is coming from downstairs: MARY investigates. A war movie is on TV and JOHN has fallen asleep watching it. If JOHN is ‘ere, MARY realizes, then the MAN upstairs cannut be JOHN and must be a danger. She runs back upstairs.  
MARY  
Samme! Samme!  
INT. LIVING ROOM – NIGHT  
Upstairs, MARY screams. JOHN wakes up.  
JOHN  
Mary?  
JOHN  
Mary!  
JOHN runs upstairs.  
INT. NURSERY – NIGHT  
JOHN bursts through the closed door of the nursery.  
JOHN  
Mary.  
The room is quiet and appears empty except fer SAM awake in his crib and JOHN. JOHN glances around and pushes down the side of SAM's crib.  
JOHN  
‘ey, Samme. Ye reit?  
Summut dark drips next to SAM. JOHN touches it. Two more drops land on the back of JOHN's hand. It looks leik blood. JOHN looks up. MARY is sprawled across the ceiling, the stomach of ‘er nightgown red wi’ blood, staring at JOHN and struggling to breathe. JOHN collapses onto the floor, staring at MARY.  
JOHN  
Nu! Mary!  
MARY bursts into flame. The fire spreads over the ceiling. JOHN stares, frozen. SAM wails. JOHN, reminded he's nut alone, gets up and scoops SAM outa his crib and rushes outa the room.  
INT. HALLWAY – NIGHT  
DEAN is awake and coming to investigate.  
DEAN  
Dadde!  
JOHN  
Take yer brut’er outside as fast as ye can and donny look back! Nuw, Dean, go!  
JOHN  
Mary!  
JOHN  
Nu!  
EXT. HOUSE – NIGHT  
DEAN  
It's areit, Samme.  
JOHN  
I gotcha son.  
Fire explodes outa SAM's nursery window.  
EXT. HOUSE – NIGHT, LATER  
FIREFIGHTER  
I gor it. Ye go hold up the line.  
OFFICER  
Stay back. Ye have to stay back.  
ACT ONE  
Lincoln University  
Present Day  
It is 31 Oct 2005.  
APARTMENT  
INT. BEDROOM – DAY  
YUNG WOMAN  
Sam!  
JESS  
Gerra move on, would ye?  
JESS  
We were supposed to be t’ere arf an ‘our ago.  
JESS  
Sam!  
JESS  
Ye coming or what?  
A YUNG MAN pokes his head around the corner; this is SAM. He's wearing jeans and three shirts, nut a costume.  
SAM  
Do I have to?  
JESS  
Ye!  
JESS  
It'll be a reit laff.  
JESS  
And w’ere's yer costume?  
SAM  
Ye knuw ‘ow I feel about ‘alloween.  
INT. BAR – NIGHT  
JESS raises a glass as a YUNG MAN in a ghoul costume, LUIS, comes up to the table w’ere SAM and JESS are. SAM is still nut in costume.  
JESS  
So ‘ere's t’ Sam and his awesome victory.  
SAM  
All reit, all reit, it's nut that big a deal.  
JESS  
Yeah, ‘e acts all ‘umble. Bur-ee scored a really feckin high.  
LUIS  
Is that good?  
JESS  
Bloody brilliant.  
LUIS  
So t’ere you ‘ave it. Ye are a first-round draft pick. Ye can go to any law school ye want!  
SAM  
Actually, I got an interview ‘ere. Monday. If it goes alreit I think I got a shot at a full ride next year.  
JESS  
It's gonna go fan-flippin-tastic.  
SAM  
It bloody better.  
LUIS  
How does it feel to be golden boy of yer family?  
SAM  
Ah, they dunnu.  
LUIS  
Oh, nu, I would be gloa’ing! Why nut?  
SAM  
Because they’re mad A left Yorkshire.  
LUIS  
Oh. More shots?  
JESS and SAM speak in chorus.  
JESS and SAM  
Nu. Nu.  
SAM  
Nu.  
JESS  
Nu, seriously. I'm proud of ye. An’ ye're gonna knuck 'em dead on Monday and ye're gonna get that full ride. I knuw it.  
SAM  
What would I do wi’out ye?  
JESS  
Call a breadcake a teacake.  
APARTMENT  
INT. BEDROOM – NIGHT  
A sound outside the room, leik a window opening. SAM opens his eyes.  
MAN  
Whoa, easy, mate.  
SAM  
Dean?  
SAM  
Ye scared the shite outa me!  
DEAN  
That's 'cause ye're outa practice.  
DEAN  
Er nut.  
DEAN  
Gerroff me.  
SAM  
What the ‘ell are ye doing ‘ere?  
DEAN  
Well, I were looking fer a beer.  
SAM  
What the ‘ell are ye doing ‘ere?  
DEAN  
Alreit. All reit. We gotta talk.  
SAM  
Uh, t’ phone?  
DEAN  
If I'd'a called, would ye ‘ave picked up?  
JESS  
Sam?  
SAM  
Jess. ‘eya love. Dean, this is me girlfriend, Jessica.  
JESS  
Wait, yer brut’er Dean?  
DEAN  
Oh, I love t’ Smurfs. Ye knuw, I gotta tell ye. Ye are completely outa me brut’er's league.  
JESS  
Just let me put summut on.  
DEAN  
Nu, nu, nu, I wurrnt dream of it. Seriously.  
DEAN  
Anyway, I gotta borrow yer boyfriend ‘ere, talk about some private family business. But, uh, nice meeting ye.  
SAM  
Nu.  
SAM  
Nu, whatever ye wanna say, ye can say it in front of ‘er.  
DEAN  
Alreit.  
DEAN  
Um. Dad’hasn't been ‘ome in a couple-a days.  
SAM  
So ‘e's werking overtime on shift. ‘e'll stumble back in sooner or later.  
DEAN  
Dad's on an ‘unting trip. And ‘e ‘ant been ‘ome in a few days.  
SAM  
Jess, excuse us. We have to go outside.  
OUTSIDE APARTMENT  
INT. STAIRWELL – NIGHT  
SAM  
I mean, come on. Ye cannae just break in, middle a night, and expect me to ‘it the road wi’ ye.  
DEAN  
Ye're nut ‘earing me, Samme. Dad's missin. I need ye to help me find ‘im.  
SAM  
Ye remember the poltergeist in York? Or the Devil's Gates in Cardiff? ‘e were missing then, too. ‘e's always missing, and ‘e's always alreit.  
DEAN  
Nut fer this long. Now are ye gonna come wi’ me or nut?  
SAM  
I'm nut.  
DEAN  
Why nut?  
SAM  
I swore I were done ‘unting. Fer good.  
DEAN  
Come on. It weren't easy, but it weren't that bad.  
SAM  
Yeah? When I told Dad I were scared of the ting in me closet, he gave me a big bat.  
DEAN  
Well, what were he supposed to do?  
SAM  
I were nane years old! He were supposed to say, don't be afraid of t’ dark.  
DEAN  
Don't be afraid of t’ dark? Are ye kidding me? Of course ye should be afraid of t’ dark. Ye know what's art t’ere.  
SAM  
Yeah, I know, but still. T’ way we grew up, after Mam were killed, and Dad's obsession to find t’ thing that killed ‘er.  
SAM  
But we still ‘aven't found the bloody ting. So we kill everyting we can find.  
DEAN  
We save a lot a people doing it, too.  
SAM  
Ye think Mam would have wanted this fer us?  
EXT. PARKING LOT – NIGHT  
SAM  
T’ weapon training, and melting silver into bullets? Man, Dean, we were raised leik warriors.  
DEAN  
So what are ye gonna do? Ye're just gonna live some normal, dandy life? Is that it?  
SAM  
Nu. Nut normal. Safe.  
DEAN  
And that's why ye ran away.  
SAM  
I were just going to college. It were Dad who said if I were gonna go I should stay gone. And that's what I'm doing.  
DEAN  
Yeah, well, Dad's in real trouble reit nuw. If he's nut dead already. I can feel it.  
DEAN  
I cannae do this alone.  
SAM  
Yes ye can.  
DEAN  
Yeah, well, I don't wanna.  
SAM  
What were ‘e ‘unting?  
DEAN  
All reit, let's see, w’ere the ‘ell did I put that ting?  
SAM  
So when Dad left, why didn't ye go wi’ ‘im?  
DEAN  
I were werking me own gig. This, uh, voodoo ting, down in t’ Midlands.  
SAM  
Dad let ye go on a hunting trip by yerself?  
DEAN  
I'm twenny-six, mate.  
DEAN  
All reit, ‘ere we go. So Dad were checking out this two-lane blacktop just outside of Grimsby. About a month ago, this guy.  
DEAN  
They found his car, but he vanished. Completely MIA.  
SAM  
So maybe he were kidnapped.  
DEAN  
Yeah. Well, ‘ere's anut’er one in April.  
DEAN  
Anut’er one in December 'oh-four, 'oh-three, 'ninety-eight, 'ninety-two, ten of ‘em over the past twenny years.  
DEAN  
All men, all the same five-mile stretch of road.  
DEAN  
It started ‘appening more and more, so Dad went to go dig around. That were about three weeks ago. I ‘adn't ‘eard from ‘im since, which is bad enuf. Then I get this voicemail yesterday.  
JOHN  
Dean...summut big is starting to ‘appen...I need to try and figure out what's going on. It may... Be very careful, Dean. We're all in danger.  
SAM  
Ye know t’ere's EVP on that?  
DEAN  
Nut bad, Samme. Kinda leik riding a bike, isn't it?  
DEAN  
All reit. I slowed the message down, I ran it through a gold wave, took out the hiss, and this is wharra got.  
WOMAN  
I can never go ‘ome...  
SAM  
Never go ‘ome.  
DEAN  
Ye know, in almost two years I've never bot’ered ye, never asked ye fer a ting.  
SAM  
All reit. I'll go. I'll help ye find ‘im.  
SAM  
But I ‘ave to get back first ting Monday. Just wait ‘ere.  
DEAN  
What's first ting Monday?  
SAM  
I ‘ave this...I ‘ave an interview.  
DEAN  
What, a job interview? Skip it.  
SAM  
It's a law school interview, and it's me whole future on a plate.  
DEAN  
Law school?  
SAM  
So we got a deal or nut?  
DEAN says nuting.  
APARTMENT  
INT. BEDROOM – NIGHT  
JESS  
Wait, ye're taking off?  
JESS  
Is this about yer dad? Is he all reit?  
SAM  
Yeah. Ye know, just a li-ul family drama.  
JESS  
Yer brut’er said ‘e were on some kind of ‘unting trip.  
SAM  
Oh, yeah, he's just pheasant ‘unting up at the cabin, ‘e's probably got Tom, Dick, and ‘arry along wi’ ‘im. I'm just going to go bring ‘im back.  
JESS  
What about t’ interview?  
SAM  
I'll make t’ interview. This is only fer a couple days.  
JESS  
Sam, I mean, please.  
JESS  
Just stop fer a second. Ye sure ye're alreit?  
SAM  
I'm alreit.  
JESS  
It's just...ye won't even talk about yer family. And nuw ye're taking off in t’ middle of night to spend a weekend wi’ ‘em? And wi’ Monday coming up, which is kind of an ‘uge deal.  
SAM  
‘ey. Everyting's going to be alreit. I will be back in time, A promise.  
JESS  
At least tell us w’ere ye're going.  
Grimsby  
TROY  
Ame, I cannae come over tonight. Because I've got werk in the morning, that's why. ...Yeah, alreit, I miss it and me dad's gonna have me ass.  
TROY  
‘ey, ah, Ame, let me call ye back?  
TROY  
Car trouble or summut?  
WOMAN  
Take me ‘ome?  
TROY  
Sure, get in.  
TROY  
So, w’ere do ye live?  
WOMAN  
At the end of Breckenridge Road.  
TROY  
Ye coming from an ‘alloween party or summut?  
TROY  
Ye know, a girl leik ye really shouldn't be alone out ‘ere.  
WOMAN  
I'm wi’ ye.  
WOMAN  
Do ye think I'm bonny?  
TROY  
Uh...huh.  
WOMAN  
Will ye come ‘ome wi’ me?  
TROY  
Um. ‘ell yeah.  
EXT. ABANDONED HOUSE – NIGHT  
TROY  
Come on. Ye don't live ‘ere.  
WOMAN  
I can never go ‘ome.  
TROY  
What are ye talking about? Nubody even lives ‘ere. W’ere do ye live?  
TROY  
That's good. Joke's over, alreit? Ye want me to leave?  
TROY  
‘ello? ‘ello?  
TROY looks behind ‘im—nu one's t’ere—then in the rearview mirror. The WOMAN is in the back seat. TROY yells again and drives straight through a "Bridge Closed" sign, stopping about halfway across the bridge. He screams. Blood spatters the windows.  
ACT TWO  
PETROL STATION  
DEAN comes outa t’ convenience shop carrying junk food.  
SAM is sitting in the shotgun seat wi’ t’ door open, rifling through a box of tapes.  
DEAN  
‘ey!  
DEAN  
Ye want breakfast?  
SAM  
Nu, ta.  
SAM  
So how'd ye pay fer that stuff?  
SAM  
Ye and Dad still running morrisons saver cards scams?  
DEAN  
Yeah, well, ‘unting ain't exactly a gr8 career.  
DEAN  
Besides, all we do is apply. It's nut our fault they send us the cards.  
SAM  
Yeah? And what names did ye write on the application this time?  
DEAN  
Uh, Philip Larkin. And his son. Scored two cards outa the deal.  
SAM  
That sounds about reit. I swear, mate, ye've gotta update yer cassette tape collection.  
DEAN  
Why?  
SAM  
Well, fer one, they're cassette tapes. And two.  
SAM  
Black Sabbath? Motorhead? Metallica?  
SAM  
It's the greatest hits of hair metal.  
DEAN  
Well, house rules, Samme.  
DEAN  
Driver picks t’ music, shotgun shuts ‘is cakehole.  
SAM  
Ye know, Samme is a chubby twelve-year-old.  
SAM  
It's Sam, alreit?  
DEAN  
Sorry, I cannae hear ye, the music's too loud.  
M62  
They drive past a sign that says "GRIMSBY 7".  
SAM  
All reit. So, t’ere's nu one matching Dad at the ‘ospital or morgue.  
SAM  
So that's summut, I guess.  
DEAN  
Ohh fancy that.  
DEAN pulls over. They take a long look befere DEAN turns off the engine. DEAN opens the glove compartment and pulls out a box full of ID cards wi’ his and JOHN's faces: visible ones include Humberside police and MI5. He picks one out and grins at SAM, who stares.  
DEAN  
Let's go.  
On the bridge, the lead copper leans over the railing to yell down to two MEN in wetsuits who were poking around the river.  
JAFFE  
Ye guys find anyting?  
MAN  
Nu! Nuting!  
JAFFE turns back to the car in the middle of the bridge. It's familiar: it's TROY's, the blood gone. Anut’er copper is at the driver's side looking around inside the car.  
HEIN  
Nu sign of struggle, nu footprints, nu fingerprints. Spotless. It's almost too clean.  
DEAN and SAM walk into the crime scene leik they belong t’ere.  
JAFFE  
So, this kid Troy. He's dating yer daughter, isn't he?  
HEIN  
Yeah.  
JAFFE  
How's Ame doing?  
HEIN  
She's putting up missing posters downtown.  
DEAN  
Ye fellas had anut’er one leik this just last month, didn't ye?  
JAFFE  
And who are ye?  
DEAN  
From over t’ bridge.  
JAFFE  
Ye two are a li-ul yeng fer coppers, aren't ye?  
DEAN  
Ta, that's awfully kind of ye.  
DEAN  
Ye did have anut’er one just leik this, correct?  
JAFFE  
Yeah, that's reit. About a mile up the road. T’ere've been ot’ers befere that.  
SAM  
So, this victim, ye knew ‘im?  
JAFFE  
Town leik this, everybody knows everybody.  
DEAN  
Any connection between victims, besides that they're all guys?  
JAFFE  
Nu. Nut so far as we can tell.  
SAM  
So what's t’ theory?  
JAFFE  
Honestly, we dunno. Serial murder? Kidnapping ring?  
DEAN  
Well, that is exactly the kind of shite police werk I'd expect outa ye guys.  
SAM  
Thank ye fer yer time.  
SAM  
Gentlemen.  
SAM  
Ow! What were that fer?  
DEAN  
Why'd ye have to step on me foot?  
SAM  
Why do ye have to talk to the police leik that?  
DEAN  
Come on. They don't really know what's going on. We're all alone on this. I mean, if we're going to find Dad we've got to get to the bottom of this ting ourselves.  
BOBBY (nut’er word fer police)  
Can I help ye boys?  
DEAN  
Nu, sir, we were just leaving.  
As the MI5 AGENTS walk past DEAN, he nuds at each of ‘em.  
DEAN  
Agent Mulder. Agent Scully.  
GRIMSBY  
EXT. STREET – DAY  
DEAN  
I'll bet ye that's ‘er.  
SAM  
Yeah.  
DEAN  
Ye must be Ame.  
AME  
Yeah.  
DEAN  
Yeah, Troy told us about ye. We're his uncles. I'm Dean, this is Samme.  
AME  
‘e never mentioned ye to me.  
DEAN  
Well, that's Troy, I guess. We're nut around much, we're up in Beverly.  
SAM  
So, we're looking fer ‘im too, and we're kinda asking around.  
RACHEL  
‘ey, are ye alreit?  
AME  
Yeah.  
SAM  
Ye mind if we ask ye a couple questions?  
INT. DINER – DAY  
AME  
I were on t’ phone wi’ Troy. He were driving ‘ome. ‘e said ‘e would call me reit back, and...’e never did.  
SAM  
He didn't say anyting strange, or outa ordinary?  
AME  
Nu. Nuting I can remember.  
SAM  
I leik yer necklace.  
AME  
Troy gave it to me. Mostly to scare me parents wi’ all that devil stuff.  
SAM  
Actually, it means just t’ opposite. A pentagram is protection against evil. Really powerful. I mean, if ye believe in that kind of ting.  
DEAN  
Alreit. Thank ye, Buzzfeed Unsolved.  
DEAN  
‘ere's the deal, ladies. T’ way Troy disappeared, summut's nut reit. So if ye've heard anyting...  
DEAN  
What is it?  
RACHEL  
Well, it's just... I mean, wi’ all these guys going missing, people talk.  
DEAN and SAM  
What do they talk about?  
RACHEL  
It's kind of this local legend. This one girl? She got murdered out on Centennial, leik decades ago.  
RACHEL  
Well, supposedly she's still out t’ere.  
RACHEL  
She ‘itchhikes, and whoever picks ‘er up? Well, they disappear ferever.  
LIBRARY  
INT. LIBRARY – DAY  
SAM  
Let me try.  
DEAN  
A got it.  
DEAN  
Mate!  
DEAN  
Yer such a control freak.  
SAM  
So angry spirits are born outa violent death, reit?  
DEAN  
Yeah.  
SAM  
Well, maybe it's nut murder.  
A local woman's drowning death were ruled a suicide, the county Copper's Department said earlier today. Constance Welch, 24, of 4636 Breckenridge Road, leapt off Sylvania Bridge, at mile 33 of M62, and subsequently drowned last night.  
Copper J. Pierce told reporters that, hours befere ‘er death, Ms. Welch logged a call wi’ 999 emergency services. In a panicked tone, Ms. Welch described how she found ‘er two yung children, 5 and 6, in the bathtub, after leaving ‘em alone fer several [minutes]. She reported that their complex-[...]  
What happened to me children were a terrible accident. And it must have been too much fer me wife. Our babies were gone, and Constance just couldn't bear it," said husband Joseph Welch. "Nuw I ask that ye all please respect me privacy during this trying time."  
At the time of the children's death and Ms. Welch's subsequent suicide, Mr. Welch were at the Frontier auto salvage yard, w’ere he werks the graveyard shift as associate manager.  
"Connie might have been quiet, but she were the sweetest, most caring girl I ever knew," said Deanna Kripke, a neighbor. "She just doted on those children."  
SAM  
This were 1981. Constance Welch, twenty-four years old, jumps off Sylvania Bridge, drowns in the river.  
DEAN  
Does it say why she did it?  
SAM  
Yeah.  
DEAN  
What?  
SAM  
An hour befere they found ‘er, she calls 999. Apparently ‘er two li-ul kids are in the bathtub. She leaves ‘em alone fer a minute, and when she comes back, they aren't breating. Both die.  
SAM  
"'Our babies were gone, and Constance just couldn't bear it,' said ‘usband Joseph Welch."  
DEAN  
The bridge look familiar to ye?  
SYLVANIA BRIDGE  
EXT. SYLVANIA BRIDGE – NIGHT  
DEAN  
So this is where Constance took the swan dive.  
SAM  
So ye think Dad would have been ‘ere?  
DEAN  
Well, he's chasing t’ same story and we're chasing ‘im.  
SAM  
Alreit, so nuw what?  
DEAN  
Nuw we keep digging until we find ‘im. Might take a while.  
SAM  
Dean, I told ye, I've gotta get back by Monday—  
DEAN  
Monday. Reit. The interview.  
SAM  
Yeah.  
DEAN  
Yeah, I fergot. Ye're really serious about this, aren't ye? Ye think ye're just going to become some lawyer? Marry yer girl?  
SAM  
Maybe. Why nut?  
DEAN  
Does Jessica knuw the truth about ye? I mean, does she knuw about the tings ye've done?  
SAM  
Nu, and she's nut ever going to knuw.  
DEAN  
Well, that's ‘ealthy. Ye can pretend all ye want, Samme. But sooner or later ye're going t’ ‘ave to face up t’ who ye really are.  
SAM  
And who's that?  
DEAN  
Ye're one of us.  
SAM  
Nu. I'm nut leik ye. This is nut going to be me life.  
DEAN  
Ye ‘ave a responsibility t’—  
SAM  
T’ Dad? And ‘is crusade? If it weren't fer pictures I wurrnt even knuw what Mam looks leik. And what difference would it make? Even if we do find the ting that killed ‘er, Mam's gone. And she ain’t coming back.  
DEAN  
Don't talk about ‘er leik that.  
DEAN  
Sam.  
DEAN  
W’ere'd she go?  
SAM  
I dunno. .  
DEAN  
What the—  
SAM  
Who's driving yer car?  
SAM  
Dean? Go! Go!  
ACT THREE  
SYLVANIA BRIDGE  
EXT. SYLVANIA BRIDGE – NIGHT  
SAM  
Dean? Dean!  
DEAN  
Whut?  
SAM  
‘ey! Are ye all reit?  
DEAN  
Chuffin.  
EXT. SYLVANIA BRIDGE – NIGHT, LATER  
SAM  
Yer car all reit?  
DEAN  
Yeah, whatever she did to it, seems all reit nuw. That Constance chick, what a bitch!  
SAM  
Well, she doesn't want us digging around, that's fer sure. So w’ere's t’ job go from ‘ere, genius?  
SAM  
Ye smell leik a bog.  
MOTEL  
INT. MOTEL LOBBY – DAY  
DEAN  
One room, please.  
CLERK  
Ye guys having a reunion or summut?  
SAM  
What do ye mean?  
CLERK  
I had anut’er guy, Philip Larkin. He came and bought out a room fer the whole month.  
JOHN'S ROOM  
INT. MOTEL ROOM – DAY  
SAM  
Whoa.  
DEAN  
I don't think ‘e's been ‘ere fer a couple days at least.  
SAM  
Salt, cats-eye shells...’e were worried. Trying to keep summut from coming in.  
SAM  
What have ye got ‘ere?  
DEAN  
Centennial Highway victims.  
DEAN  
I don't get it. I mean, different men, different jobs—  
DEAN  
—ages, ethnicities. T’ere's always a connection, reit? What do these guys have in common?  
SAM  
Dad figured it out.  
DEAN turns to look.  
DEAN  
What do ye mean?  
SAM  
‘e found the same article we did. Constance Welch. She's a woman in white.  
DEAN  
Ye sly dogs.  
DEAN  
All reit, so if we're dealing wi’ a woman in white, Dad would ‘ave found the corpse and destroyed it.  
SAM  
She might have anut’er weakness.  
DEAN  
Well, Dad would wanna make sure.  
DEAN  
‘e'd dig ‘er up. Does it say w’ere she's buried?  
SAM  
Nu, nut that I can tell. If I were Dad, though, I'd go ask ‘er ‘usband.  
SAM  
If ‘e's still alive.  
DEAN  
All reit. Why don't ye, uh, see if ye can find an address, I'm gonna get cleaned up.  
SAM  
‘ey, Dean?  
SAM  
What I said earlier, about Mam and Dad, I'm sorry.  
DEAN  
Nu chick-flick moments.  
SAM laughs and nuds.  
SAM  
All reit. Jerk.  
DEAN  
Bitch.  
MOTEL  
INT. MOTEL ROOM – DAY, LATER  
JESS  
‘ey, it's me, it's about ten-twenny Saturday night—  
DEAN  
‘ey, man. I'm starving, I'm gonna grab a li-ul summut to eat in that diner down the street. Ye want anyting?  
SAM  
Nu.  
DEAN  
Larkin's buying.  
JESS  
So come ‘ome soon, alreit? I love ye.  
SAM  
What?  
Outside, the coppers are approaching DEAN.  
DEAN  
Mate, five-oh, take off.  
SAM  
What about ye?  
DEAN  
Uh, they kinda spotted me. Go find Dad.  
DEAN hangs up the phone as the COPPERS approach. He turns and grins at ‘em.  
DEAN  
Problem, officers?  
JAFFE  
W’ere's yer partner?  
DEAN  
Partner? What, what partner?  
SAM sees HEIN approaching and darts away from the window.  
JAFFE  
So. Fake police, eh. Fake credit cards. Ye got anyting that's real?  
DEAN  
Me boobs.  
JAFFE  
Ye have the reit to remain silent—  
ACT FOUR  
COPPER'S OFFICE  
INT. COPPER'S OFFICE – DAY  
COPPER  
So ye wanna give us yer real name?  
DEAN  
I told ye, it's Nugent. Ted Nugent.  
COPPER  
I'm nut sure ye realize just ‘ow much trouble ye're in ‘ere.  
DEAN  
We talkin', leik, misdemeanur kind of trouble or, uh, squeal leik a pig trouble?  
COPPER  
Ye got the faces of ten missing persons taped to yer wall.  
COPPER  
Along wi’ a whole lot of Satanic mumbo-jumbo. Boy, ye are officially a suspect.  
DEAN  
That makes sense. Because when t’ first one went missing in '82 I were three.  
COPPER  
I know ye've got partners. One of 'em's an older guy. Maybe he started the whole ting. So tell me. Dean.  
COPPER  
This his?  
COPPER  
I thought that might be yer name. See, I leafed through this. What li-ul I could make out—I mean, it's nine kinds of crazy.  
COPPER  
But I found this, too.  
He opens the journal to a page that reads "DEAN 35-111", circled, wi’ nuting else on that page.  
COPPER  
Nuw. Ye're stayin' reit ‘ere till ye tell me exactly what the hell that means.  
DEAN stares down at the page, then looks up.  
WELCH HOUSE  
INT. HOUSE – DAY  
SAM  
Alreit. Are ye Joseph Welch?  
JOSEPH  
Yeah.  
JOSEPH  
Yeah, ‘e were older, but that's ‘im.  
JOSEPH hands the photo back to SAM.  
JOSEPH  
‘e came by three or four days ago. Said ‘e were a reporter.  
SAM  
That's reit. We're werking on a story toget’er.  
JOSEPH  
Well, I dunno what the ‘ell kinda story ye're werking on. T’ questions he asked me?  
SAM  
About yer wife Constance?  
JOSEPH  
He asked me w’ere she were buried.  
SAM  
And w’ere is that again?  
JOSEPH  
What, I gotta go through this twice?  
SAM  
It's fact-checking. If ye don't mind.  
JOSEPH  
In a plot. Behind me old place over on Breckenridge.  
SAM  
And why did ye move?  
JOSEPH  
I'm nut gonna live in the house w’ere me children died.  
SAM  
Mr. Welch, did ye ever marry again?  
JOSEPH  
Nu way. Constance, she were the love of me life. Prettiest woman I ever knuwn.  
SAM  
So ye had a happy marriage?  
JOSEPH  
Definitely.  
SAM  
Well, that should do it. Ta fer yer time.  
SAM  
Mr. Welch, did ye ever hear of a woman in white?  
JOSEPH  
A wha?  
SAM  
A woman in white. Or sometimes weeping woman?  
SAM  
It's a ghost story. Well, it's more of a phenomenon, really.  
SAM  
Um, they're spirits. They've been sighted fer ‘undreds of years, dozens of places, in Hawaii, Mexico, lately in London, Newcastle. All these are different women.  
SAM  
Ye understand. But all share the same story.  
JOSEPH  
Mate, I don't care much fer nunsense.  
SAM  
See, when they were alive, their ‘usbands were unfaithful to ‘em.  
SAM  
And these women, basically suffering from temporary insanity, murdered their children.  
SAM  
Then once they realized what they ‘ad done, they took their own lives. So nuw their spirits are cursed, walking back roads, waterways. And if they find an unfaithful man, they kill ‘im. And that man is never seen again.  
JOSEPH  
Ye think...ye think that has summut to do wi’...Constance? Ye smartass!  
SAM  
Ye tell me.  
JOSEPH  
I mean, maybe...maybe I made some mistakes. But nu matter what I did, Constance, she never would ‘ave killed ‘er own children. Nuw, ye get the ‘ell outa ‘ere! And ye don't come back!  
COPPER'S OFFICE  
INT. COPPER'S OFFICE – NIGHT  
DEAN  
I dunno how many times I gotta tell ye. It's me ‘igh school locker combo.  
COPPER  
We gonna do this all night long?  
COPPER  
We just got a 999, shots fired over at Whiteferd Road.  
COPPER  
Ye have to go t’ bathroom?  
DEAN  
Nu.  
COPPER  
Good.  
M62  
DEAN  
Fake 999 phone call? Samme, I dunno, that's quite illegal.  
SAM  
Ye're welcome.  
DEAN  
Listen, we gotta talk.  
SAM  
Tell me about it. So the husband were unfaithful. We are dealing wi’ a woman in white. And she's buried behind ‘er old house, so that should ‘ave been Dad's next stop.  
DEAN  
Samme, would ye shut up fer a second?  
SAM  
I just cannae figure out why Dad hasn't destroyed the corpse yet.  
DEAN  
Well, that's what I'm trying to tell ye. He's gone. Dad left Grimsby.  
SAM  
What? How do ye knuw?  
DEAN  
I've got ‘is journal.  
SAM  
He doesn't go anyw’ere wi’out that ting.  
DEAN  
Yeah, well, he did this time.  
SAM  
What's it say?  
DEAN  
Ah, the same old ex-Royal Marine crap, when he wants to let us knuw w’ere ‘e's going.  
SAM  
Coordinates. W’ere to?  
DEAN  
I'm nut sure yet.  
SAM  
I don't understand. I mean, what could be so important that Dad would just skip out in the middle of a job? Dean, what the ‘ell is going on?  
DEAN  
Sam? Sam!  
CONSTANCE  
Take me ‘ome.  
ACT FIVE  
M62  
CONSTANCE  
Take me ‘ome!  
SAM  
Nu.  
BRECKENRIDGE ROAD  
T’ car pulls up in front of CONSTANCE's house and stops. The engine shuts off and so do t’ lights.  
SAM  
Don't do this.  
CONSTANCE  
I can never go ‘ome.  
SAM  
Ye're scared to go ‘ome.  
CONSTANCE  
‘old me. I'm so cold.  
SAM  
Ye cannae kill me. I'm nut unfaithful. I've never been!  
CONSTANCE  
Ye will be. Just ‘old me.  
SAM  
I'm taking ye ‘ome.  
DEAN  
Sam! Sam! Ye alreit?  
SAM  
I tink...  
DEAN  
Can ye move?  
SAM  
Yeah. ‘elp me?  
DEAN  
T’ere ye go.  
CHILDREN  
Ye've come ‘ome to us, Mamme.  
DEAN  
So this is w’ere she drowned ‘er kids.  
SAM  
That's why she cud never go ‘ome. She were too scared to face ‘em.  
DEAN  
Ye found ‘er weak spot. Nice werk, Samme.  
SAM  
Yeah, I wish I could say the same fer ye. What were ye thinking shooting Casper in the face, ye freak?  
DEAN  
‘ey. Saved yer ass.  
DEAN  
I'll tell ye anut’er ting. If ye screwed up me car?  
DEAN  
I'll kill ye.  
SAM laughs.  
M62  
The Impala tears down the road; the right headlight is out.  
SAM  
Alreit, ‘ere's w’ere Dad went.  
SAM  
It's called Wetwang.  
DEAN  
Sounds charming. How far?  
SAM  
Nut far.  
DEAN  
‘ey, if we ‘urry we could make it by morning.  
SAM  
Dean, I, um...  
DEAN  
Ye're nut going.  
SAM  
The interview's in leik, ten ‘ours. I gotta be t’ere.  
DEAN  
Yeah. Yeah, wharever.  
DEAN  
I'll take ye ‘ome.  
APARTMENT  
EXT. SAM'S APARTMENT BUILDING – NIGHT  
SAM  
Call me if ye find ‘im?  
SAM  
And maybe I can meet up wi’ ye later, huh?  
DEAN  
Yeah, all reit.  
DEAN  
Sam?  
DEAN  
Ye knuw, we made an ‘ell of a team back there.  
SAM  
Yeah.  
INT. SAM'S APARTMENT – NIGHT  
SAM  
Jess?  
SAM closes the door.  
SAM  
Ye ‘ome?  
Blood drips onto SAM's ferehead, one drop, then anut’er; he flinches and opens his eyes. He gasps in horror: JESS is pinned to the ceiling, staring down at ‘im and bleeding from the belly.  
SAM  
Nu!  
JESS bursts into flame; the fire spreads across the ceiling.  
DEAN kicks the front door open.  
DEAN  
Sam!  
SAM  
Jess!  
SAM  
Nu! Nu!  
DEAN grabs SAM off the bed and bodily shoves ‘im out the door, SAM struggling all the way.  
SAM  
Jess! Jess! Nu!  
Flames engulf the apartment.  
AFTER THE FIRE  
EXT. SAM'S APARTMENT – NIGHT  
SAM  
We got werk to do.  
SAM shuts the trunk.


End file.
